We think, the louder we yell, the more kids will remember the lesson next time. Right? Wrong!
In fact you are only leaving a scar in the subconscious bed of your child’s mind. Yelling activates the threat center in the limbic system of the brain, taking blood and oxygen away from the thinking cortex. It produces immense stress that results in the release of cortisol. Then it incapacitates the child’s cortex from problem solving. Thinking goes offline, and coping mechanism gets affected. And thus, your child begins to get aggressive, angry and reactive.
And as grown up adults they carry the imprints of scar that affects their interpersonal and intra personal relationships, emotional maturity and problem solving capacity gets limited, many fly off handles with anger.
Some individuals may portray nervousness, lesser confident (if more has been incurred emotionally in suffering as a child) and also have subdued behavioral pattern. Unless vented and healed through psychotherapy, they tend to be angry, less forgiving and don’t tend to realize the damage that they can cause emotionally to the people around them, who loves and want them to be happy.
Act in the Now! As a parent take charge of your emotions today, so that your child’s tomorrow is not destroyed. Develop your coping mechanism as your child’s coping mechanism starts at home, at your level as you are his/her parent. Your own calm coping is the best model for your child’s coping. If your child’s ‘upset behavior’ goes up, keep your down. Take your child to play area and while he/she is playing, release your pattern too just by watching them. By being happy, you are teaching your child to be happy.
Through the art of self-forgiveness, you are teaching your child to be forgiving, compassionate and patient. Communicate with your child at his/her eye level as you have the choice to make your child confident and worthy.
Lower your expectations understand your child and if he/she is not your type, realize that your child is a different learner.
Go with the natural flow of your life with your child, not with the flow of neighbours’, friends’ relative or school’s children.